When you were growing up, you probably didn’t dream of becoming a caregiver. Maybe you wanted to be a firefighter or a teacher. But life has a way of guiding us to where we are most needed, and right now, that place is beside your loved one.

Being a caregiver is not just a role, it’s a calling, often unexpected, and certainly not easy. It’s filled with ups and downs: moments of deep love and gratitude, but also frustration, sadness, exhaustion, and even anger. What you’re doing takes courage, compassion, and strength. And I can promise you this—when this chapter of your life closes, you will be forever changed. You’ll grow in patience, in empathy, and in your understanding of love on its deepest level.

You Deserve to Be Asked: “How Are YOU Doing?”

In the midst of doctor appointments, medication schedules, and household responsibilities, no one may stop to ask how you are doing. And yet, your well-being is just as important as your loved one’s. Caregiving doesn’t come with a manual, and whether you’re caring for a spouse, parent, or friend, it can feel like you’re trying to navigate uncharted waters and sometimes it’s in a storm.

If you’re caring for your spouse, your worries might include finances, household duties, and how your partner ever managed to juggle so much. You’re learning patience in ways you never expected. And some days may feel like a nightmare where helplessness creeps in.

But please remember this: you are only one person, and you are doing your very best.

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Put your own oxygen mask on first.” That applies here too. You must care for yourself in order to be there for someone else. Even if it’s just for 15 minutes—go for a walk, ride your bike, or have a coffee with a friend. Ask a neighbor or family member to sit with your loved one so you can step away. You need time to recharge.

Neglecting your own health won’t help anyone. Your loved one needs you strong and that includes mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Let Go of the Schedule

As a caregiver, nothing is guaranteed. You may plan your day carefully— meals, chores, medications—but it can all unravel in a second. Your loved one isn’t disrupting your plans intentionally. Their needs are constantly shifting, and so must your flexibility.

Choose one or two tasks you must get done each day. If you complete one, that’s a win. And when your loved one rests, you rest too. You never know what the night will bring.

Living in the present moment will help you manage stress and stay grounded. Try not to get lost in the “what ifs.” You can only handle what’s right in front of you and that’s enough.

Simple Practices to Stay Present

If being present sounds impossible right now, start small. Light a candle. Watch the flame flicker and dance. Notice the colors and movement. Even 5 minutes of quiet observation can bring you back to center.

Another way to ground yourself is to go outside. Breathe in the fresh air. Watch the birds. Notice the trees swaying. Nature is healing and always available to you and it is free of charge.

If your loved one can join you outdoors, it’s good for both of you. Plant some flowers. Feel the soil. And yes, even pulling weeds can be strangely therapeutic.

Let Your Pet Help You Heal

If you have a pet, spend time with them. Let them be part of your healing. Pets offer love without words, judgment, or expectations. Just being in their presence can lower your stress and lift your mood. They know when you’re hurting, and their comfort is a quiet but powerful medicine.

Speak to your pet. Tell them your fears, your frustrations. They’re wonderful listeners and never interrupt. Their soft eyes and calming presence might even make you smile or laugh and that’s healing, too.

Release the Emotions You Hide

Sometimes, emotions build up so strongly you don’t even know what to do with them. One powerful way to release them is through journaling.

You don’t need to write a book. Just pour your thoughts onto paper. And if you’re holding feelings of frustration or sadness toward your loved one, write a Total Truth Letter.

Start with Dear ___ and let everything out. Say what you’re feeling, even the hard stuff: “I wish you appreciated what I’m giving up.” It’s okay. This letter is for your eyes only. Don’t reread it. Don’t show it to anyone. Just sign it and release those emotions. After you have signed it, tear it up and let it go. You’ve honored them and that’s what matters.

You Are a Gift on This Journey

Being a caregiver will transform you. You may not receive daily thanks, but please know this: you are deeply important. Your love, your care, your presence, they matter more than words can express.

You are doing something sacred. And you are not alone.

So, take a breath. Take a break. And most of all, take care of you.

Wishing you much love & many blessings,

About Sue London

Sue London is an award-winning healer, media host, and a compassionate force for love, healing, and hope. She is the proud recipient of several prestigious honors, including the Lifetime Achievement Award, Humanitarian Award, Empowered Woman Award, and the Top Hospice Pet Doula & Pet Healer Award.
For over three decades, Sue has dedicated her life to helping others—people and pets alike—navigate illness, grief, and transformation with grace, faith, and an open heart. As a healer, she has supported thousands through physical, emotional, and spiritual challenges. As a media host, she creates space for soul-stirring conversations that inspire courage and connection.
Now walking her own powerful journey through stage 3 cancer, Sue continues to live with bold intention, sharing her light through everything she does. Her mission is to help others feel seen, supported, and never alone.
To receive ongoing support, healing tools, and divine inspiration, you can join Sue’s Healing Membership Program here: https://asksuelondon.com/membership-program/