A Care Giver's Guide To Surviving And Thriving

You likely didn’t grow up dreaming of becoming a caregiver. Most of us imagined becoming teachers, nurses, or doing something entirely different. But life has a beautiful way of guiding us right where we are needed most. And right now, that place is beside someone you love. Caregiving isn’t simply a responsibility — it’s a calling, a heart assignment, a sacred journey filled with moments of tenderness, exhaustion, gratitude, frustration, and deep love. And even on the days when you feel overwhelmed or unsure, you keep showing up. That alone makes you extraordinary. When this chapter of your life eventually closes, you will be forever changed — softer in some ways, stronger in others, and with a deeper understanding of love than you ever imagined.

You Deserve to Be Asked: “How Are YOU Doing?”

Caregivers often carry everything — medications, appointments, meals, cleaning, emotions, bills, and the invisible weight of worry. Yet rarely does someone pause to ask how you are truly doing. Your well-being matters just as much as your loved one’s. There’s no manual for caregiving. It can feel like you’re navigating a vast ocean — calm one day, stormy the next. If you’re caring for a spouse, thoughts about finances, housework, decisions, and fear may quietly swirl in the background. And sometimes, you may think: “I’m scared.” “I’m tired.” “I don’t know how to keep doing this.” Please remember: You are only one person — and you are doing your very best. Take time for yourself, even 15 minutes. Step outside. Call a friend. Sit quietly with a cup of tea. Ask a neighbor or family member to visit so you can breathe. This is not selfish — it’s necessary.

Let Go of the Schedule

Caregiving rarely follows a perfect plan. You may carefully map out your day, but everything can change in a moment because your loved one’s needs shift. Choose only one or two essential tasks daily. If you complete even one, that’s a success. And when your loved one rests — please rest too. You don’t know what the night may bring, and your body needs that quiet time. Try to stay in the present moment rather than drifting into “what ifs.” You can only handle what’s right in front of you — and that is enough.

Simple Ways to Stay Present

If staying grounded feels difficult, here are gentle ways to help: Light a candle and watch the flame. Step outdoors and breathe fresh air. Listen to the birds. Notice the sky and the trees. Plant something or tend to a garden — touching the earth can release stress in the most natural way.

Let Your Pet Support You

If you have a pet, let their loving presence be part of your healing. Pets offer comfort without judgment and soothe your spirit simply by being near. Talk to them. Let them sit beside you. Their gentle eyes and soft energy can lift your heart on even the hardest days.

Release the Emotions You Hold Inside

Caregiving stirs up powerful emotions — love, fear, guilt, anger, sadness, frustration. One of the healthiest ways to release them is through writing. Journal freely. Or write a Total Truth Letter. Begin with “Dear ____,” and pour out everything — the good, the painful, the honest. Sign your name, then tear it up. Let it go. You’ve honoured your truth.

You Are a Gift

Even if you don’t hear it every day, you are making a profound difference. Your presence is healing. Your love is medicine. Your care is a blessing. Take time to breathe, rest, and honour your own needs. You matter. Your heart matters. Your healing matters.

With much love and many blessings,
Sue London

About Sue London

Sue London is an award-winning healer, author, and Hospice Pet Doula who has supported families through illness and loss for many years. After being diagnosed with cancer herself, Sue’s work took on even greater depth and meaning. She now helps others navigate their journeys with love, comfort, and spiritual guidance, and she proudly serves on the Advisory Council for Patients and Families at Juravinski Cancer Centre.